


Cookie Wars

by TabiKittyKat



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Fluff, M/M, brief cameo by Lindsay, day 10/25, missing x-ray and vav vibes here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-11
Updated: 2019-12-11
Packaged: 2021-02-18 11:29:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21760189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TabiKittyKat/pseuds/TabiKittyKat
Summary: One cookie left.Who gets it?Only a battle of the ages will decide...
Relationships: Ryan Haywood/Michael Jones
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	Cookie Wars

Michael and Ryan were hard at work in the kitchen. They planned on baking Christmas cookies for work and were somewhat successful after their third batch. They wrapped the cookies in a little basket and put it off to the side. Those cookies were officially off limits for consumption until they got to work.

Ryan looked at the plate and saw 5 cookies they didn't pack away.

"Yes! We have extras!" Michael cheered. "Care to celebrate a job well done and not burning the fucking house down with a snack?"

"That sounds like a wonderful idea, Michael. Let's dig in!" Ryan already picked up a cookie and started to eat it. "Mmm! We did a damn good job! The others are gonna like these cookies."

"As long as Matt doesn't eat them all first." Michael said, reaching for a Christmas tree cookie and biting the top off. 

"True. You think we should give one to Chad?" Ryan asked.

Michael chuckled. "Well, I mean...he's learned his lesson. And I doubt he wants to eat 100 cookies, so he'd better take the cookie."

They continued to chatter while eating their cookies. Until they both reached for a Christmas bauble cookie...

....and it was the last one on the plate.

They both looked up and chuckled nervously.

"Well. Umm..." Ryan cleared his throat. "This is awkward."

"Yeah, there seems to be only one cookie left. And two of us. Very awkward indeed." Michael agreed while scratching the back of his head.

"But, I think we both know who gets the last cookie, right, Michael?"

"Yeah, of course!"

"Me!"/"Me!"

They both gasped and were now glaring at each other.

"The fuck did you just say?" Michael growled.

"You heard me. That cookie is mine. I am older, after all."

"Yeah, so you don't need anymore cookies, boomer." 

Ryan scoffed. "How dare you?"

"You're not getting that cookie, Haywood. I will fight you for it."

"Now, let's not be hasty. Let's settle this like men, Michael." 

"Fine! What do you wanna do?"

Ryan rolled up his sleeves and pounded his right fist onto his open-palm left hand. "2 out of 3. Rock paper scissors."

Michael laughed and followed Ryan's actions. "You're on!"

**"Rock! Paper! Scissors! Shoot!"**

Both rock.

**"Rock! Paper! Scissors! Shoot!"**

Both scissors.

**"Rock! Paper! Scissors! Shoot!"**

Both rock again.

**"Rock! Paper! Scissors! Shoot!"**

Both paper.

Ryan groaned and threw his arms up in the air. "We keep tying! This isn't any good."

"Then, let's try something else. How about a video game?" Michael suggested.

"No Nintendo games so it's fair." 

Michael just rolled his eyes and eventually agreed. The last thing he wanted was Ryan complaining all night about how Nintendo games are biased towards him and he sold his soul to the devil for always winning at Mario Party.

So they both sat in the living room, booted up the xbox and decided to race in GTA V for the cookie.

After several stunt races, which involved many sprunks, rage yells and close calls, they both tied for wins. Again.

"Are you fucking serious?!" Michael yelled and stood up in a rage. "How are we so good that we tie at everything??" 

"The cookie will never find an owner at this rate." Ryan said, sadly. 

"You know what? Screw the games. I'm just gonna eat the cookie. This was a complete waste of time..." Michael walked in the kitchen and was about to grab the cookie to finally be consumed until something sharp whizzed by, almost cutting his finger, and landed on the floor next to him.

It was a cracked crown.

Michael turned around to see Ryan, in all his Mad King glory, except he was wearing his sexy apron still but the way he was standing, with such confidence, you almost couldn't tell. 

"Uh-uh-uh, dear Mogar. You know good and well that you don't deserve that cookie. Only someone of my stature and power has the honor to consume such a delicacy." Ryan smirked, now fully speaking in his Mad King voice. "I would advise you step away from the cookie now, or face my wrath."

Michael chuckled lightly. This is the game he was gonna play? All right. 

He growled and spoke in his broken Mogar speech. "Mogar does not accept orders from you anymore. It is you who must step away." He ran to the coat racks and quickly put on his winter bear hat with glove sleeves attached. He also picked up one foam Minecraft diamond sword behind the coat rack, twirling it in his hands.

Ryan ran to the kitchen to grab his crown (outside of the show, it doesn't work like Mjolnir) and was just about to reach for the cookie, until he felt something soft hit his back but with such force that he fell down (probably for dramatic effect). He looked up to see Michael pointing the sword at his face.

"Stay away from the baked goods, evil king. You shall not have your way. Mogar will fight you." 

The Mad King gave a chuckle and stood up, with no fear of the sword pointing at him. "Then, let us have a fight, then. Away from the prize, so it's fair."

They walked back to the living room, where there was more space and faced each other. 

Michael charged forward with his sword and swung at Ryan, who easily dodged it. He jumped on the living room couch and flung his crown at Michael. This time, it did hit Michael in the face, but only left a little scratch, but of course Michael had to play it up.

"You hurt Mogar. Prepare to die, king." he rubbed his cheek where the small scratch was.

Ryan threw a pillow at Michael and dove for his crown again. "I may be a king now, but once I claim my prize, I'll be a God..."

"Oh, please! You haven't been a God for 4 years!" Michael smirked, but knew he was stating facts.

"You'll pay for that! Come here!" Ryan grabbed the other foam diamond sword by the coat rack and they both started sword fighting. They were evenly matched. Until one careless mistake caused Ryan to knock Michael's sword out of his hands and the bear fighter found himself backed into a wall.

"It's game over for you, Mogar. The cookie is mine. I can't wait to watch you suffer as I eat it right in front of you...while you take your last breaths." 

Michael growled and braced himself for "death" as the sword came down.

Until, he heard the sound of a ringtone going off. It was an 8-bit version of "Still in the Air," so it was Ryan's phone going off.

Ryan sighed and took his phone out of his pocket. 

Lindsay was calling him.

"Hello? I'm kinda in the middle of-" Ryan started to talk, normally this time, until he was cut off by Lindsay.

_"Ryan? Oh thank goodness you answered. You didn't make cookies for work tomorrow, did you?"_

"Uhhh...why?" 

_"Because I kinda went nuts and I was baking cupcakes and cookies for the office all afternoon, and I have so fucking many; you have no idea. Sooo... you don't have to do anything after all. I hope I didn't tell you this late, but at least you don't have to worry about burning down the house or trying to bake. That's all I had to tell you. Maybe you can do something next week. Unless Jeremy decides to bake something-. You know what? You know what? How about if you just worry about eating and the rest of us will do the baking? Sound good? Okay. I'll talk to you at work. Bye!" Lindsay spoke quickly and then hung up._

"B-Bye." Ryan hung up, then looked at Michael. "So. We, uh...we don't have to fight anymore. Lindsay pretty much fucked us over and took our job of bringing something in for the office and I'm pretty sure we've been banned from baking so, uhh..." Ryan looked at the basket of cookies they've prepared for the others. "Wanna call it a draw and tell the others they're missing out?"

"Sounds like a good idea to me, Ryan. But we should probably clean up first." Michael looks around the living room and there were pillows everywhere.

"Ah. You're right." 

They put the pillows back in their place, made the couches look nice and presentable, and put their toy swords in the closet this time. (Ryan hung his crown back on the coat rack)

As they had their extended snack time of cookies and milk, they promised to never fight over the last cookie again.

Until they fought over the last kolache at work.

But, that's another story.


End file.
